Wedding reception

If you're like us, having the ceremony in the morning and wedding reception during the dinner, then you can refer to our experience. I wouldn't say this as a guide since all the variables could be different.

But one thing for sure, I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING WEDDING BANQUET AT CRYSTAL CROWN HOTEL, PJ.

I'll explain why I said that in another post. In short, it gave us a bad experience and on our special day? Really? bah..

Depending on where you gonna held your wedding reception, be there earlier to make sure everything is prepared. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen may also be there earlier to help check things out.

The bride may be preoccupied to redo her make up and dress up, so the groom is the only hope to run back and forth to do the preparation (boy, am I glad to get help from all of them). The bride will most likely got stuck in the room until the reception time actually starts, depends on what time your MUA will arrive, so do check the updates with her. Let her know in advance how many person will need to do make up for the reception so she can estimate her time.

While I was in the room doing my preparation, Jon was already at the ballroom ushering and greeting our guests. Checking things with the banquet manager. Make sure to assign receptionist and make sure they are also there early.

Once the bride is done, you'll go to the ballroom to greet the guests, take some photos, 

but do be wary of the time when the actual reception suppose to start. Get your emcee to be your timekeeper. 

Once the program actually starts, bride and groom will have to be ready at the entrance to do the significant march in later.

Nothing much I could comment on here as the dinner reception is pretty basic. But I'll just share with everyone my program flow because I too wanted to look for reference back then... Assuming the dinner should start at 8pm sharp and depending of the set of gowns that the bride will have to change, I had 3 sets. It's tiring. Just go with 2 at most...IMHO

7-7:45pm - Arrival of guests (our guests actually arrives at 6:30pm)
7:35pm - Bride change gown
7:55pm - Emcee plays proposal video of the newlywed
8:00pm - Emcee introduction + couple march in
8:15pm - First dish serve
8:20pm - Plays Tea ceremony session video
8:30pm - Bride change to next set of gown, meantime emcee plays Prewed photoshoot montage
8:45pm - Cake cutting and Toasting session and some speech
9:30pm - Couple goes around the table for toasting
11:00pm - End

It was tiring but indeed an experience to us.

The Big Day

Oh I'm really sorry for the looong delayed post of the BIG day itself!

If you guys/girls have been reading thus far and awaited for the "BIG day"'s post, I'm terribly sorry. I've been so caught up lately with work and our next phase of life. Will leave the story for next time. I hope you guys/girls did well in the big day! After all, that's the most awaited day!

It has been some time since both Jon and I's big day. I hope I can remember well so I don't miss out any important details and I'll probably get the photos up soon from our photographer of the day. Hopefully...

Till then, here's what you should expect to happen:

Bride's side:

1. You probably won't get enough sleep as you'll have to wake up 4 am in the morning to get your make up done. Which depends on the auspicious time to 'pick the bride'. Do make arrangement with your Make-Up Artist (MUA) so you'll know what time to get ready and what time your photographer should arrive to capture the "Behind the scenes" pictures (No, photographer won't take picture of you changing, just some 'bride-preparation-for-big-day" moment). 

Wear a button up shirt to ease the dress changing later without messing up the make up

  I don't get enough sleep as the auspicious time for flower bathing on the night before was 12am and my Make up artist arrive at 5 am. It'll take her about 2 hours plus to get your make up and dress up done. So do make an allowance for that. You don't wanna keep the groom waiting for too long. If it really can't be helped, get your bridesmaids to stall the time! 

2. Your bridesmaids should also get prepared for the gate crashing games while you're preparing. You'll be too busy to entertain them, so do appoint someone who know your house in and out (siblings, parents, or close friend) to assist them. 

 
3. MUA will help you to dress up, when you're done, just sit in the room and wait for your prince charming to arrive! Meanwhile, photographer will request to take photos of you again. Will also probably ask for your parents to be in the photo, so get them ready as well. For example, photos where parents will cover the veil's of the bride to symbolize the parents' blessing.

4. Bridesmaids will commence the gate crashing games when the groom arrive, this is where the infamous red packet negotiation happens. "Open gate" red packet. There's no really an amount of how much it should be, it depends on your husband. Some say this red packet is meant to be divided among the bridesmaids later. In between the games, bridesmaids can/will also blackmail the groom to get more red packet,  either with punishment or trick games.

 

5. Finally, the groom enters the bride's room (with much obstacles). Kiss the bride, pose for photos and you're ready for next session. 

Tea ceremony at the bride's house. I hope I don't get the positions wrongly about who you should first serve the tea because I didn't hire 'dai kam jie' for it. What we did was parents first, then grandparents (if there are any) of father's side first then mother's side, then married relatives from oldest to youngest, father's side then mother's side again. Then elder married siblings. I'm not sure if this is part of the tradition, next you'll have to give out red packets to younger unmarried siblings / relatives as a blessing from your auspicious day.

6. Next will be bride's leaving house auspicious time if there is one. Many things gonna happen here:

You're suppose to use a red umbrella to block the sun/sky, your father usually will be the one holding the umbrella for you (myth has it that your wedding is your big day, but as you leave the house, the sky God is biggest. So you gotta block it!).  

  
Have someone to throw 5 type of grains towards the umbrella as you leave to symbolize warding off evil spirits and blessing. 

Also use a red fan to block your chest area (To ward off any other auspicious/inauspicious moment that will clash with you). That red fan has to block your chest all the way until you reached the groom's house. Get another fan prepared, this is to throw off the car (don't look back when you throw) and have a younger sibling to pick it up to symbolize you have move on and the younger one will have your luck of the day.

The bride's car will have to make a few rounds about the house  (however you wanna do it) to symbolize the bride coming back home after 3 days (traditionally).
On the 3rd round, get down from the car, enter the bride's house once again as a symbol of return. Then you may leave to groom's house.

Groom's side

1. Early morning, groom just has to get himself prepared. Parents may be asked from the photographer to capture the behind the scenes moment such as putting on coat for the groom to symbolize parents blessing.

2. Leave the house within the auspicious time. As groom arrives at bride's house, bride will have a younger male sibling to open the door for the groom. Wait for him to open your door, he will give you two oranges (represent sweetness and luck) and in return, you'll give him a red packet as blessing.

3. The nightmare for groom begins as the bridesmaids gather for gate crashing game. The infamous one would be the "sweet", "sour", "bitter", "spicy" game which symbolizes the phases that the newly wed will go through together

4. As mentioned above, after meeting the bride, tea ceremony and it's time to bring the bride home and meet your side of the family!

5. As you reached, your side of the house will have a younger male sibling will open the door for you and same as the bride's side, you'll have to give out red packet to the boy. 

6. Family members with clashing zodiac/auspicious date (birthday, for example) are advised to hide themselves when the newly weds enter the house. They may then return to the hall after they have entered. 

7. Tea ceremony on groom's side will commence. After that, bride and groom will go into bridal chamber and a young/virgin boy will jump on the bridal bed to symbolize fertility and in hope that the couple will bear a son. Then the boy will also break a potty that is covered with red paper and takes the red packet inside.

That concludes the ceremony! And you're now customary considered as husband and wife!

Many things were made convenient/simple as the time moves on. Traditionally, the customs are more complicated and more steps and superstitious things to adhere to. Glad we're getting more open minded nowadays.

Auspicious: Day before the Big DAY

Now it's the time. The day before the big day. The longest day ever.

I'll shorten the story where you collect the gowns and props for the wedding day. What's gonna happen on that day is just gown collection, gown fitting, bridal car ribbon fitting and props collection. That's all.

That night is where most of the activities takes place. It is said that the bride and groom shall not meet the night before and so we didn't. We carry out our auspicious tasks at our own home.

Some family would have a small event to invite neighbors, friends or relative over for a small banquet. This is so called the "bachelor's night". I did mine, but my husband did not do on his side. For simplicity, he just have a simple dinner together with the relatives. It's entirely up to the family.

What I would suggest is just ignore the so called bachelor's night banquet. It's time consuming and your guests could be tired from traveling over and they have to be over at your place again the next day especially if your guests are from out of state.

What's inclusive are usually bathing with flower water (to ward of evil spirit), then change to new pyjamas, hair combing ceremony (by a pair of good couple - healthy, with children and grandchildren) and praying to ancestors. 

But we just did bathing with flower water since both of us does not have an altar at home.

All these have its own auspicious hour to follow. 


p/s: A really short post for the timeline for the long delayed process. heh.

Auspicious: Bridal bed set up

Even bed set up has an auspicious date and time and rules to follow.

This doesn't mean to do wood crafting on the bed. The representative of this act is actually to lay over a new set of bed sheet. 

If you're on a budget, you don't even need to buy a new bed per say. Just new bed sheet will do to signifies a new beginning with your significant other and to prepare the room for well, to put it bluntly, baby making!

Let's start with basic:
Bed sheet:
Though not necessary needed to have dragon and pheonix design on it, you can. More importantly is the colour of the bed sheet. Colours to avoid are the mourning colours. (black, blue, white, grey, dark or gloomy colours). Red is perfect as I suppose Chinese weddings are all associated with red which signifies prosperity and happiness.

Person to set up:
Good fortune woman. (Whose husband and children are all alive and has grandchildren) may install the bed.

Bed set up:
To prepare for the set up, the bed is moved slightly out of its designated position. During the auspicious hour to set up, the bed is then moved to its designated position to symbolize the set up completion. Then lay on the new bed sheet.

After that, the good fortune woman will lay on a plate of items which symbolizes good fortune on the bed. Items may include:
- Even number of tangerines,
- Dried longan
- Dried red dates
- Lotus seed
- Cypress Leaf
- Pak Hup
- Red Packet

After that, she will light up the a pair of bed side lamp which symbolizes adding  son to the family. The light should not be turned off until the wedding night.

Taboo:
Once the bed is set, except for children who are thought to bless the couple with fertility, in the usual case, a boy and is not against the couple's zodiac, no other adult should sit or rest on the bridal bed before the wedding.

The bride too, should not lie down on the bed. Otherwise it is believed that this will give her a bad health. 

If the groom must sleep on the bed before the wedding, he must be accompanied by a young boy because it is considered unlucky to leave the other side of the bed empty which may signifies to curse the other half death.

Anyone with chinese zodiac against the couples' should not enter the bridal room.

Auspicious: Gift Exchange

Disclaimer: We're officially husband and wife as I wrote this. Sorry for the long delayed post. Many things to do I just got no time to sit and write!

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = hehe = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = 

Oh boy, this is the headache part. If you search through the internet, you will find MANY and I repeat, MANY AND VARIOUS different items you should chuck into the basket for gift exchange (Guo Da Li). Be it for the groom or bride. There are different items to pack depending on which dialect you're from, hokkien, hakka, cantonese, ... you know..

I'm not going to confuse you by telling what dialect we're from, because personally, we did not follow thoroughly what to pack and what not.

If you went for Loh Tit Pat to get the auspicious date for wedding, you will be supplied a list of items to pack. Don't worry, they will let you know which is the MUST HAVE and which is optional or which can be replace with red packet as a symbolism. ( I love this idea)

(Honestly, if it is even possible, I would want to replace everything with red packet symbolism. Of course, with both families agree to it. It makes everything so simple! Imagine this. In the gift exchange list, you're suppose to give a pair of live chicken - yeah, I'm not kidding, and you're suppose to keep it alive until it die on its own. For simplicity of the current generation, it's replaced with red packet as a symbolism. AWESOME right?)

So what's in the basket: (Arghh! I do not have the photos anymore - blame the phone low storage space)

From groom:
- 2 bottles of liquor
- 8 oranges
- Invitation card
- Dowry
- A pair of chicken (replace with red packet)
- Biscuit ( replace with red packet)
- 9 ft red cloth
- Dragon phoenix candle (replace with red packet)
- Red packet for the bride *

What inclusive in the list of red packets (*) was:
1) Hair combing
2) Money for parents
3) Sisters (sibling)
4) Facial
5) Bride's Chaperone
6) To buy new pajamas 

All red packets from the groom must not be packed empty. It has to be filled with any amount (of course, Chinese would like it to be auspicious amount)

In return, bride will have to return the groom with gifts.
- 2 bottles of orange juice/honey
- 8 oranges
- Cypress leaf
- Lotus root
- Pomegranate
- Trousers
- Belt
- Wallet
- Red packets *

Yes, bride would also need to return red packet. 
1) Hair combing
2) Hair cut
3) To buy new pajamas

Note: All pockets must not be empty. It has to be filled. This includes the trousers pockets, wallet pockets and of course red packets.

Note2: We include oranges in our list even though it wasn't mentioned in the list from LTP. (Too much resource from internet). There are suppose to be more items in the list but we omitted be cause it was just TOO MUCH.

Note3:  Bride and groom are not allowed to touch the gift exchange item until after/on the day of wedding. Family members can though.


Disclaimer: All these superstitious believe whether who can touch or can eat or what not are mostly based on hearsay whether it's from our elders or friends who were wed through customary way. So best is to consult professionals since we ourselves don't have a "dai kam jie" to guide us.


Of course, the list from LTP is just basic guidelines of what is necessary to have. These list may change depending on both families agreement. I heard the request can go as ridiculous as a piece of land, cows, goats, rice, ruler... whatever thing that can be thought of. 

Just my two cents. At the end of the day, we're going to be family. Why not we just make things simple and after the wedding, we're one family. We should help each other as a family. Let's not look at materials and monetary in higher position than family relationships. This builds longer and lasting relationship than worldly material.

Jo

Photo Album and Misc collection @ Precious Bridal Studio SS2

Hey hey! Sorry for the long hiatus. As it draws nearer to our wedding date, we hardly got much time to juggle between working and wedding preparation! We only got that leeway during weekend to manage our preparations.

This post will be yet another review about our bridal studio! Honestly, I really like their service. I hope I wont be biased when I review about them.

As the title goes, it was the time where we collect our photo album and some other photos collection. What we have in our package was:

• 1x Vintage box to put our main photo album
• 1x mini album
• 2x bride and groom design album
• 1x canvas portrait
• tons of standing/hanging photo album 

From Top left (clockwise): Vintage box, bride & groom mini album, one of the photo albums, glass photo album

The amount doesn't look as though it is a lot but trust us, once you got all these back, you would doubt if the both of you are narcissist. We only got 45 poses in total and obviously all these photo albums will have repeats. We also have an imbalance number of portraits and landscape photos hence our options to accommodate the photo album got really lowered down. Really, remember to select a good balance of portraits and landscape photos.

Here's something that's worth mentioning:

My hubby is a thorough person than I am. I went alone to collect these items and I didn't check that the vintage box, mini album and the glass photo album have a little defect. So we called up the studio and told them our problems. Our PIC which I really like her customer service attitude, Mandy told us to bring the items back so they could check for us or exchange if they have stock for the box. Within the same week, Mandy called us and along with other item collection, we returned to the studio. Mandy tried on few other boxes that they had in store to replace my box that has defect. I know it's what a customer service suppose to do but I still appreciate that they go in and out of their store to unbox the new vintage box and check one by one for defects.

Alright, that's it for now. More preparation to come! Hopefully all BTB can manage them well !

Photo Selection @ Precious Bridal

2 weeks later after the photo shoot, we were back again at Precious Bridal for photo selection. We were excited to see the results of our photoshoot!

The photos doesn't disappoint. We love each of the photos (thus making it more difficult to choose an amount of photo out of the total!) 

We then started screening by going through one round through the photos. While we were screening it, we chuckled to ourselves as it reminds us on what we did. 

Taking our own sweet time to go through the pictures, the crew came in and out of the room offering their help and tips. With that, we actually made some progress. 

The tips given by the crew was that we should select few photos of the same theme as they will be used as a story when they print them onto the photobook.  

Selecting a few from the same theme wasn't easy. There were so many hundreds of pictures taken that day!

Nevertheless, we finally made up our mind and succeeded in selecting our photos without adding additional photos to the package. (Note: adding additional photos to the package will cost money depends on the bridal shop charges)

Update:
Here are some of the photos selected!