= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = hehe = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =
Oh boy, this is the headache part. If you search through the internet, you will find MANY and I repeat, MANY AND VARIOUS different items you should chuck into the basket for gift exchange (Guo Da Li). Be it for the groom or bride. There are different items to pack depending on which dialect you're from, hokkien, hakka, cantonese, ... you know..
I'm not going to confuse you by telling what dialect we're from, because personally, we did not follow thoroughly what to pack and what not.
If you went for Loh Tit Pat to get the auspicious date for wedding, you will be supplied a list of items to pack. Don't worry, they will let you know which is the MUST HAVE and which is optional or which can be replace with red packet as a symbolism. ( I love this idea)
(Honestly, if it is even possible, I would want to replace everything with red packet symbolism. Of course, with both families agree to it. It makes everything so simple! Imagine this. In the gift exchange list, you're suppose to give a pair of live chicken - yeah, I'm not kidding, and you're suppose to keep it alive until it die on its own. For simplicity of the current generation, it's replaced with red packet as a symbolism. AWESOME right?)
So what's in the basket: (Arghh! I do not have the photos anymore - blame the phone low storage space)
From groom:
- 2 bottles of liquor
- 8 oranges
- Invitation card
- Dowry
- A pair of chicken (replace with red packet)
- Biscuit ( replace with red packet)
- 9 ft red cloth
- Dragon phoenix candle (replace with red packet)
- Red packet for the bride *
What inclusive in the list of red packets (*) was:
1) Hair combing
2) Money for parents
3) Sisters (sibling)
4) Facial
5) Bride's Chaperone
6) To buy new pajamas
All red packets from the groom must not be packed empty. It has to be filled with any amount (of course, Chinese would like it to be auspicious amount)
In return, bride will have to return the groom with gifts.
- 2 bottles of orange juice/honey
- 8 oranges
- Cypress leaf
- Lotus root
- Pomegranate
- Trousers
- Belt
- Wallet
- Red packets *
Yes, bride would also need to return red packet.
1) Hair combing
2) Hair cut
3) To buy new pajamas
Note: All pockets must not be empty. It has to be filled. This includes the trousers pockets, wallet pockets and of course red packets.
Note2: We include oranges in our list even though it wasn't mentioned in the list from LTP. (Too much resource from internet). There are suppose to be more items in the list but we omitted be cause it was just TOO MUCH.
Note3: Bride and groom are not allowed to touch the gift exchange item until after/on the day of wedding. Family members can though.
Disclaimer: All these superstitious believe whether who can touch or can eat or what not are mostly based on hearsay whether it's from our elders or friends who were wed through customary way. So best is to consult professionals since we ourselves don't have a "dai kam jie" to guide us.
Of course, the list from LTP is just basic guidelines of what is necessary to have. These list may change depending on both families agreement. I heard the request can go as ridiculous as a piece of land, cows, goats, rice, ruler... whatever thing that can be thought of.
Just my two cents. At the end of the day, we're going to be family. Why not we just make things simple and after the wedding, we're one family. We should help each other as a family. Let's not look at materials and monetary in higher position than family relationships. This builds longer and lasting relationship than worldly material.
Jo
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