Our first baby - Our experience

Baby Jacob - day 1

As fragile as newborns are, as a parent, we still need to learn to carry them and hence take care of them.

I remember when both my husband and I were offered to carry my nephew of age 1 week old ( I was still pregnant with baby Jacob), our hands were trembling. Literally. Both of us have not held newborns before and in addition, they're so fragile! You'll need to know how to support both their head and the neck. Boy that was so stressful.

Just wanted to share our experience so far that Jacob is now 2 months+ going to 3 soon. I'd love it if any parents out there are able to share their experiences as well. I guess being a parent now, I just love to talk about parenting, I get to learn and share them. It's wonderful.

I'll skip the baby delivery process (I've wrote about it in my own blog) and straight to Jacob's day 0.

FIRST 2 WEEKS

Jacob did not feed within the few hours of birth. As far as I've read all over the internet, it's important! Jacob was placed right on my chest for skin-to-skin bonding as soon as birth. Few moments after that, while I'm getting my stitches, Jacob was brought away to clean up. When he's back into my arms, he's sleeping like a log. I thought that was okay.

I wasn't given coach on how to breast feed a baby and as a first time mom, I don't even know how to carry my baby. It was awkward. Jacob still sleeps soundly though. 7 hours later, a nurse came over to have a look and asked if he has been fed. I answered, no. She was shocked.

I was told that it's normal that baby sleeps for so long and sometimes over 24 hours because they think that they're still in the womb and placenta will do the feeding for them. Nurse then checked if Jacob has passed motion and to her relieve, he did. Black tar-ish poop which I assume is the said meconium.

Why is it important that baby feeds and pass motion in his early days? - To get rid most of the bilirubin (all baby have this, just depends how high it is) which is the cause for jaundice. Both nurse and I tried to wake Jacob up for milk. Thank goodness, he latched. Just a while, but at least he did.

Fast forward to day 8, Jacob was admitted to hospital due to high jaundice level (but not life threatening). He was placed under UV light and diagnosed as physiologic jaundice. We were discharged a day after since his bilirubin level has show sign of improvement. I was glad to see the bilirubin level lowered.

Jacob under the UV light.

AT ONE MONTH PLUS

That happiness doesn't last long. His bilirubin level continues to rise more than fall over a month and was then diagnosed with "prolonged jaundice" - since usually jaundice level will be pretty low by the time baby is 14days old. Since then, Jacob needs to be checked every week to monitor his jaundice level. At the clinic, he'll be pricked at the heel to get his blood sample. My heart aches as I see the needle pricked him and heard his cry.

We went back and forth to the clinic each week until we were discharged from the clinic when his reading starts to constantly drop. That was when he's in his early 2months old. We were so worried back then but after listening stories from other parents that they too experience the same, somehow I feel relieved. We got so many advice to help lower his jaundice level. So many that we don't know which to follow.

When he was discharged from hospital, we were told to NOT "sidai" (put baby under the sun) baby or to feed him with goat's milk. WHICH was what many told us to do to help lower his jaundice level. Ignoring partially the hospital advice, I occasionally put him under indirect sun. (I honestly think what they meant is not to put baby under DIRECT sunlight. So I guess indirect sun is okay). Back at the confinement center, some mom suggested that I could feed him with Chinese herbs or feed him with water. Which I didn't dare to since doctor may want to know what he's being fed and we're suppose to exclusive breastfeed Jacob. I can only control my food intake and avoid ginger as much as I could.

AT TWO MONTHS - NOW

Now that the main jaundice concern is away, my other concern was his feeding habit and phlegm down his throat. Now that I'm back at work, he's usually at babysitter's in the day. Lately, he's refusing bottlefeed again. As far as I've read, babies usually will accept Pigeon brand teat which he did early 2months old. Now that he's about 3 months old, he's showing sign to refuse it again.

When we successfully feed him 2oz of milk from the bottle.

And it seems pretty normal that parents of this issue buys many milk bottle of different brands just to find out which teat does their baby prefers. Even my sister in law bought 5 to 6 bottles of different brands to try out when her baby refuses to bottle feed. It's like gambling since a milk bottle is not cheap either and some teat can't fit into different bottle brand! Otherwise it would save some money to just purchase the teats.

Our other concern would be his spit ups. At times, it's just a little brought up after burping but at times, it can fills up half a cup. And it seems to be a lot of mucus. I was told by babysitter that Jacob has a lot of phlegm and it's most likely because of what I ate while I was pregnant. Not sure what are the facts. I didn't research on that. I have no idea how to help Jacob on the phlegm though.

Of course, we did asked doctor about the spit up volume and the response is always "overfed". So nowadays I pause his feeding every time he unlatches and burp him as often as I could and offer more hind milk (squeeze away some of the fore milk). With this ritual, I realize he sleeps better (less gassy) and he also spit up less. Will continue to monitor. I never actually control my diet but I try to avoid food that is not good for the baby like chocolate, broccoli, onion, soda - food that causes gas.

So far these are our experiences with our baby. As a mom, I'm sleepy-writing this post. I barely get a straight 4 hours of sleep each day as Jacob still feeds every 2 hours every mid night and I'll have to be at work during the day. It's tiring, but it's so worth it when we're able to see that happy smile in our baby's face.

Discussion: Should parents pay for your wedding?

Big question here. As a modern and working adult, my answer is definitely NO.

Since I'm a Chinese, I'm only basing on Chinese wedding and my answer is still NO.

Some may bring up the question. "Most of the guests whom are coming to the reception are my parents friends, why should it be me who pay for the wedding? They are the one who wanted the reception so they could invite their friends, not me"

One word for you, SELFISH.

Parents may help out on your wedding, parents may voluntarily sponsor your wedding but you shouldn't have your parents to fund your wedding, you spoiled brat. Mind my words. I don't agree with such thoughts.

Parents have been raising us up thus far. Come on, now they even have to pay for your wedding? Wedding or marriage is something that signifies that you're adult and mature enough to have a family of your own. Your responsibility and commitment are in question here. Yeah, just keep getting baby-ed and you'll forever never be able to grow up.

I'm sure no parents would want to choke their children in their budget. Discuss with your parents. Unless you yourself also invite your friends and wanted a posh venue for your wedding, then I guess there's the price to pay.

Living in the city, venues for wedding reception doesn't come cheap. Especially with Chinese wedding where the price ends with 88. It would be like RM 888++, RM 988++, RM1,288++ per table kind of value and most of them requires a minimum amount of table. The least I've encountered so far was 20 tables to book a private "hall". For an RM 888++ per table * 20 (minimum), you'll end up with total of RM 17,760. THAT is only the minimal you'll have to pay for table price. Imagine if you wish to add alcohol drinks, that would easily total up to 20k for a reception. That bill obviously excludes your pre-wedding preparation costs and other fancy things you want to add on.

If you think your parents should also cover your pre-wedding preparation costs, just one piece of advice personally from me to you, don't reproduce. You'll end up in more debt. Who is going to clear that for you? Your parents? That's YOUR direct family already. How spoiled can you be.

If you're financially tight for wedding, cut cost.

Here's my opinion:

1. Research and find a decent priced venue for your wedding.

While the restaurants mostly priced at similar range, you can still find restaurant which has more to offer in their wedding package. For example package that includes complimentary alcohol or complimentary emcee, free flow of drinks, more flexibility on the tables you requested, etc. Things like this more or less could save some of your budget.


2. Ditch the pre-wedding photography

While it's nice to take a pre-wedding photography (especially for ladies), that is, you'll get to wear the gown of your choice and flaunt the model in you and be the star of the day; it's really an expensive cost. Hiring a photographer and renting wedding gown and all could easily cost you RM 3k. The package from bridal shop which usually includes photo albums, are just there soon to collect dust. How often would you look back at the book? It's been more than a year, I don't look back at it. You can save this budget and do a low budget photography instead if you're planning to display this later in the reception. Borrow a DSLR and tripod from a friend or even just a normal camera on your smartphone and take casual happy picture of both of you. I think that's even more hipster!

3. Have a small reception.

Just between families and close friends. Period.


4. Have a budget sheet that you can refer back how much you've spent.

This works psychologically. Set a maximum budget you can afford for the WHOLE wedding. Each time you purchased something for your wedding, deduct that from your budget. That includes the pre wedding stuff and customary items and the wedding reception. Roughly list out what you may need before your start purchasing and set an "expected" budget on it and if the actual cost exceeds the expected budget, something else gotta have to be sacrificed.


It may sound naggy that I may have repeated myself in one of the posts but my family is currently planning for a wedding and I got stressed out. Since I just had my wedding recently, my family members are asking me for advice and some of the thoughts are just ridiculous that I need somewhere to vent it out.

Wedding is indeed expensive, so be careful with it and I'm sure if there's a well plan, debts can be avoided to make the wedding a success.

KKIA vs GH vs Private hospital

Ever since I got high BP measurement, I was referred to the government hospital (GH) and now, I have a file opened there. A record - a bad record I would say.

Anyway, all these 3 places has a slight different procedure. I'll do a simple routine comparison in this post.

KKIA(Gombak):

• Come on the appointment date and time (earlier is preferable)
• Put the pink book into basket that indicates the appointment time respectively
• Wait for nurse to call your name
• Pay RM1 and wait for your number to be called
• Meanwhile, get your urine tested. Container will be provided.
• Place the urine sample on a laboratory window and wait for nurse on duty to get to the lab
• Once the nurse tested the urine, collect the bottle yourself and dispose both urine and bottle
• Get the piece of paper from the nurse on duty to indicate if the test is positive or negative
• Continue to wait for your number to be called to nurse's room
• At nurse's room, weigh, measure blood pressure, check hemoglobin level, check baby's heart rate, womb measurement, get vitamins and listen to nurse's advice. Done.

GH (HKL):
- Wasn't able to do a routine kind of checkup here since I was there most likely to see specialist. Let's see how it goes in my next appointment. But as far as I can tell, the procedure are:

•  Come on the appointment date and time (way earlier is preferable)
• With your pink book,put it into basket provided and wait for your name to be called
• You will be given ticket number, then directed for urine testing then BP testing
• Then make payment at cashier counter
• See doctor

- that's as far as I can tell since after that, I'm only seeing doctor. But I feel the routine in GH is a little messy especially for first timers. While in KKIA, it's all organised by number system.
But I guess if you're not at risk of anything, you probably won't be referred to GH. Maybe.

Private hospital (Columbia Asia Hospital):

• Register yourself at administration counter
• Wait for nurses to call for weight and urine test.
• Wait for nurse to call to see doctor. - done.

Process is much shorter and you'll be able to do scan at most of the time so you got to see the baby's development. Also, you'll be able to speak directly to doctors to voice your concern or ask for advises.

There you go. This routine, however, is location specific. I do not know what other hospitals or clinic routine may be. So this is only based on my experiences. Feel free to share your routine at the places you do your check ups!

What to pack into maternity bag

Once you hit the 8th month of your pregnancy, tt's any time now for delivery. You have to be ready by now. You'll never know when your baby decides to greet the world! Start packing your maternity bag for preparation. But how big should you pack your maternity bag? I have that question running in my head few weeks back and I've been reading guide on what to pack. I'm the kind of person who like to pack minimal but enough of needs in one bag.

First, choose a bag. I was thinking just to bring a bagpack initially but I manage to get a free maternity bag from diapers purchase on the last baby fair (hooray), so I use that bag instead.

Essentials to put in. What I have in my bag are:

For mother (me) :
- Maternity pad
- Disposable panties
- Toiletries & towel
- After delivery (discharge) clothes. (Pack maternity clothes instead. The bump may still be there but smaller.)
- Phone charger - I have yet to pack this since I'm still using it at home. Will probably pack my spare powerbank instead of charger)

For baby:
- Newborn diapers
- Towel
- One or two sets of newborn clothes (also mittens, booties and cap)
- Baby shampoo
- Baby wipes 
- Swaddle

These are the few minimal items that I can think of to pack into the bag. IF I google online, there are tonnes of things to be packed, that includes chapstick, mask sheet, book, camera, etc.

Of course, if you want to, you can also pack these into the bag although it depends on the hospital if the items are allowed, especially camera.

Once you got these items packed into your bag, make sure to put it aside at somewhere visible or somewhere you could remember. Or better yet, my nurse advise me to put it straight into the car. But I don't feel comfortable to put my bag into the car just in case the heat of the sun may damage them. In any case, I've also informed my husband where it is placed, so if we really forgot about it when we heading towards the hospital in a rush, he can return and grab them quickly.

Preparation for parenthood

Wedding is finally over and now both of you are preparing to be parents! How exciting when you first got that home pregnancy test showing positive! Congratulations!

Alright, what's next?

This is entirely my own experience, now that I'm 30~31 weeks in pregnancy, I would like to share with you readers especially readers from Malaysia.

We're considered the lucky bunch because our government's medical facility has improved over time and giving us a lot of aid and subsidies for medication and check ups.

Going back and forth with both private hospital and government clinic so far, I would love to share my experience with you, especially first time mothers like me. *shy*

Both my hubby and I were excited the moment we've confirmed that I'm pregnant. We did multiple home pregnancy test from the basic stick to digital. Finally when the digital test kit showing that I'm pregnant, I got mixed feelings. "Yay! But what should I do next?"

According to Chinese taboo, you shouldn't share the news of the pregnancy until you're done with the first trimester. What they believe is that by telling the whole world that you're pregnant, you may "scare" the baby spirit thus causing miscarriage. Not being a very superstitious myself, I find myself still fall back to such taboo and thus hiding the news from my siblings and friends until the 3rd month had passed. Of course I did some research too if there's logic behind it. It is said that the first trimester of pregnancy is often the risky one whereby chances of miscarriage is higher therefore if you've told others that you're pregnant, the hardship  may even be greater when you need to share the  bad news of losing the baby.

So both hubby and I decided to only share the joy with our parents. We didn't know what to do then. The following day, we went to private hospital nearby for check up. The scan showed I was 5weeks pregnant (according to my LMP -Last menstration period) but the doctor couldn't scan much about it as it was still just a dot in the womb.

At 5 weeks.

We went home with joy nevertheless and got folic acid to reduce the risk of neural tube defects on the baby. We were told by doctor that usually before getting pregnant, the mother is advised to take folic acid too to cut down the chances for neural defects baby. We were lucky to be able to see the doctor, according to my brother, some hospital require you to make an appointment 2 months in advance!

My next visit was 3weeks later when I'm 8 weeks pregnant to scan for heartbeat. Indeed, we can see flickering in the womb and hear the heartbeating. I teared. Doctor also prescribed me vitamins to take to help increase the supplements needed for the baby.

When I'm 3months pregnant, we finally break the news to our siblings and relatives and friends. It was interesting to see their reaction especially when I broke the news on April's fool day.

My sister in law recommended us to open a pink book with the government clinic, known as KKIA (Klinik Kesihatan Ibu & Anak), Where the check up is very much cheaper and our baby's vaccination will be free compared to private which charges about RM 200 for each shot.

You cannot go to just any KKIA to do check up, you have to find out which KKIA is handling your district otherwise, they will not handle your case. When hubby and I first got to the KKIA we were directed to, we couldn't do a walk in. We'll need to set an appointment with the nurse and come again another day. You'll need to remember to bring the following:

- Your IC
- Spouse IC
- Marriage certificate
- Utilities bill

I got scolded by the nurse for seeing them so late. When I'm already 3 months into pregnancy. They said I should have come earlier. Well, I didn't know earlier, now I do...Well, suck it in... I read elsewhere that the ideal time to come is when you're 10 weeks pregnant. I also heard some going in at 8 weeks. So... I'm not sure on this.

Should have taken the picture when it's a new book; anyway, if you're fit, the sticker would be green instead of yellow.

 

If you're wondering why there's a yellow sticker, it's because I got a high bp record just lately in my 3rd trimester.

 

Came to the appointment as early as recommended by the nurse and finally open my first pink book (buku merah). The clinic was crowded. But they follow ticketing numbers so that was quite organised. First timers will be asked all sorts of questions like family medical history, LMP, and the usual urine and hemoglobin test (each visit) and after some briefing and advices, I finally got my pink book!

Ever since then, I went for both private and government clinic for checkup. It's tiring especially when the government clinic only operates on working hours and the time slot that I got is usually 8am.

I like the government clinic checks. They are more thorough. Each time you visit, you'll have to do a urine test, blood pressure test, hemoglobin count test, weight check and you'll get free obimin vitamins! All you have to do is to pay RM1 for the processing fee. But the downside is that you wont get scanned by the doctor on each visit. Only on certain appointments. If you don't mind that, I suggest you to only go for government clinic's. Although you may have to persevere in the infamous long wait.

Private is more expensive, every check they do and every prescription they gave is bound for charges. I often got charged closed to RM200 each time I made a visit to private hospital even without the prescription. But the bright side is that they operates on weekend as well (depends on which hospital) and their service is much faster. My advice though. Do get your questions prepared. Whether you got less questions or more questions you'll still be charged for consultancy, and it's not cheap.

There you go. It's up to you whether you want to opt for government or private. To me, it's all about the budget you have and the service you prefer.

Part 3: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ

Recap:
Part 1: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ
Part 2: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ

After the wedding reception and all of our guests head for home, the hosts (us and my brothers) sat on one of the table to discuss with the banquet manager about our feedback and dissatisfaction.

We voiced our feedback from most of our guests and what we experienced throughout the night. As usual, the banquet manager has no authority over this and wanted to shove us off by giving diplomatic excuses. "This has never happened before", "We have not seen it happened", "There were too many people". Obviously there are many people, which is why we are able to opt for this bigger ballroom. Shouldn't it be expected before? Where are all the staff training? 

Since he couldn't make decision, we opt to speak to higher authority. He initially wanted to settle this issue there and then so it doesn't alarm his superior. But we insisted. Seriously, we were shocked to see such service being carried out like as if customer's event meant nothing to them. So unprofessional. Such a shame to get high hotel star rating.

He later pass us his superior's name card which is the F&B manager.

We made an appointment to meet up with him and  the F&B manager the next day. Which happens to be a holiday.

We appreciate that he's able to make it over to the hotel discuss the dispute even though it was a holiday. 

We again voiced our experience and complaints of our guests to the manager which he also couldn't make any decision to compensate us on the poor service provided. During the 3 or 4 hours discussion at the lobby's Cafe, there was no solid conclusion. He has heard our complaints, but again, he couldn't make any decision. He called up the sales manager to talk about our compensation or at least until the issue has been resolved, we will hold back the remaining banquet money. Over the phone with the sales manager, he promised us that it will be held first until the issue has been resolved. We wanted someone who can make decision, but it was quite a waste of time since there was no solid verdict that day. We ended up writing a 4 page complaints from most of ours and our guests feedback.

Our mail back and forth lasted for 2 months, from early October until mid of December. With still dissatisfaction on our side.

2 days after our banquet, I again updated the feedback since there was no reply or any sort from the hotel. An email came back one day later:

Meanwhile Management has decided to charge your credit card for the balance amount of RM10000 verified as agreed in our contract to close our account.

What? What about what was promised over the phone conversation between both managers? Now that there's a dispute and all they care about is their account? There was no other saying to this. They've charged it as they sent the email out.

On Oct 5th, you expressed that CCHPJ was going to charge me the remaining MYR 10,000. I replied on the same day, expressing my concerns regarding that.

On Oct 6th, you assured me that you would attempt to convince the management otherwise; and that your previous email was to inform us, the customer before you charge them.

My credit card shows that it was charged on Oct 5th.

 As quoted from our reply.


The said investigation goes on for another week while keeping the customer in the dark. We have to promptly email / message them to find out what's going on.

More than a week after the dispute, we finally came down to another meeting with the managers. This time with both the sales and F&B manager, and the sales person, staff A.

What I remembered clearly from our discussion, we were first shown the CCTV footage. That was a bit waste of time. It's only showing snippet of what was caught on tape and the position of the CCTV was not even overall the hall. Some were blocked by pillar, some were located I don't know where. And more ridiculous, remember the .gif that I posted in my review part 2? Somehow on their interest, it was fast forwarded. All other snippet that was shown to me has no fast forward, why only this snippet? And you've guessed it. "We don't see the issue you were talking about here", that was what claimed by one of the manager. They claimed that they spent 6 hours looking at the footage. Well, if it's only what benefit the hotel that the snippet is showing, then what's the point of showing it to us? Let us be another eye to see the whole 2 hrs of our event. We can point it to you on the customer's perspective. 

Not like we haven't offer ourselves for the help.

In the end, what was promised from the management is to refund 30% of the said amount, with additional 2 room + 10 hi-tea vouchers for feedback which valid for 6 months. 

What makes them think a customer would want to come back to this hotel after such bad experience?  

And only valid for 6 months? That's not even showing that the customer is any importance. I would expect a year long or lifetime no limit kind of voucher if we're going to be offered vouchers for compensation.

It's like getting vouchers for Christmas gift instead.

We negotiated for more since we're still not satisfied. We negotiated for 3 rooms and 15 meal vouchers. From the total compensation we're looking for, this, we have taken much far back.

At the end of the discussion, they promised to get back to us after checking with their management:
- Whether the refund would be in terms of GIRO or credit
- Whether the voucher can be extended instead of 6 months.

What we have agreed upon as compensation before calling it a night:
 - 3 rooms + 15 meal vouchers
- The said money refund

What really came back to us AFTER we reminded them 4 days later (because there was no news from their end):
- 2 rooms + 15 meal
- voucher validity only 6 months 

Well, once again it seems to me that the message was not conveyed properly from the sales manager to her management. Or rather. Did she even convey it at all?

We have already voiced our concern that we will not be around during the first few months of the voucher validity and during then there was so much understanding that it could perhaps be extended. But since it's not what we agreed upon, we wanted to make another meet up discussion. This time, we want to meet the so called "Management" that was always quoted by the sales manager.

That was so happen that their COO was away for business trip until end of November. But if they really want to make things right, shouldn't the COO email to the customer instead? There's unhappy customer with your staff here.. hellooooo. Guess the COO shows no concern to their customer anyway after receiving payment.

One month passed. I sent an email

If you noticed the dates that were sent, they surely take their time to response to us. Even from Whatsapp, there was no update. 

The reply only came a day later with "good news" that the management agrees to extend the voucher period for another 3 more months. 

And that's the end of the saga.

Still I wasn't satisfied. Put your feet into our shoes, it clearly does not make you feel as though customer is important to them. There was suppose to be a meet up with the COO after the COO is back from business trip. That didn't happen. How long will it take for COO to reply an email "okay, we can extend the voucher validation" if a meetup was not even planned at the first place?

I feel the whole "Management" name was made up to prolong the discussion and to protect their benefits. 

I really don't like the service given by the sales department. They don't give me the impression that they place customer in priority. The F&B department (especially the cafe at the lobby), service was good. They were really attentive. If only the same kind of attention and professionalism was given during the banquet that day. I'm sure all of this can be oversee.

Part 2: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ

This post I'm gonna write about "during" the banquet. 

You can read about pre-banquet here: Part 1: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ 

The real day is here, the day that you've been waiting for and all prepared for. This ONE DAY. This big day of yours. Your guests are coming and some are already here.

Yet, during this time is when the staff decided to further hammer the red carpet. On good thoughts, it's for the safety of the people walking in and out of the ballroom but shouldn't this preparation be done way earlier before they deemed that the ballroom is ready to be used? This doesn't seem "ready" for me.

As we need to prepare food for our photographers before the program starts, I've requested for some plates to put the food that we've take out from restaurant. The plates only comes 20 minutes later even when the kitchen is just next door. And they brought us mini plates even when I've already explained what the purpose was for. I'll just oversee that.

As the entrance were quite crowded, the staffs too need to walk around the hall for preparation, they accidentally bump on to the flower stand along the isle. But they choose to ignore even when one of the flower broken and walked away. My expectation was that he picked it up. I don't really mind if the flower is broken, that gotta happen somehow. At least show some regret and pick it up.

During the couple march in, one of the staff decided to walk along on the red carpet. Shouldn't he be already aware that the moment has come? The door was open to indicate that the marching in will begin and he decided to walk slowly on the red carpet as my photographer has to ask him to move away and until one of my guests pulled him away to stand by the side. We even had our emcees repeated in bilingual, a trained staff would have alerted themselves to move aside.

The service of the staff were so slow. When my guests requested for a drink, it only comes 30 minutes later. Or never. Some staff even brought one whole bottle of soft drink to the table where they were actually suppose to serve when needed. Does this mean that my guest have to self-service? Also, this means there is no control of beverage flow. One of my guests requested for hot water and the staff shoved the hot water right next to my guests face without saying excuse me in the first place. Asking the guests first before proceeding is the least they should be trained. "May I clear the plate?" Simple sentences. Simple answer is expected. Yes, no. Yet, the staff did not ask and cleared the plate on the table even before my guests were finish with their food.

Seriously, all these staff shows lack of training especially on their communication skill. They barely could understand the requests. One of my guests spotted that the staff were fooling around before the presentation of the food. Where's the discipline? (and that staff was a high rank one).

One of my guest's door gift were taken away without question asked when the staff accidentally spilled some soup over it. Some staff did not understand the dining culture (which I would expect them to know if they have proper training). They provide spoon to scoop the ice instead of ice thongs. Is this some roadside restaurant? We're in a hotel ballroom for heaven's sake.

I have a few vegetarian guests. I've already told the sales person (whom I liaise with before, whom should be aware of my requests) that there should be a proper marking of who is the vegetarian so that the food may arrive to them correctly. It was promised that they would ask who it was first before putting on the marking on the table to identify them. Yet, the marking were all wrong, and my vegetarian guest were left hungry for a few hours before I have to personally confront the staff myself. Yet, as I've mentioned, the staff pretend to understand my request and walked away and ended up ignoring it. I have to check back again with my guest to find out if they were served. And it was so slow with small portion!

Usually during Chinese wedding, there will be times, especially after "bone-food" or "shell-food' like chicken or prawn, the plates will usually be cleared and new set of plates will be given. Yes, this hotel ballroom do provide this service. But they just stack the whole new plates on the table and expect my guest to distribute among themselves. Then when they were clearing the plates, they took away some of the cutlery and didn't replenish it. What do you expect my guests to eat with? Hands? Also, this coming from my boss' experience from the server that serves his table. The staff placed the dirty dish UNDERNEATH THE TABLE. Why?! WHAT?! Well, given the benefit of thought, my boss is not a Malaysian, you could say he don't understand the culture. But the other 9 members on the table are. They too commented the same. WHAT? For WHAT?! feed the rat? If there is one...

There was some technical problem during the event. The ballroom suddenly got warmer. Guests complained. At 7pm (when the event suppose to start), technical equipment were still not ready for my emcees. Unforeseen technical problem like sudden breakdown, I could still understand. But the excuse they gave after we confront them after the reception, "Well, there were too many guests at that point, so it gets a little hotter". Legit excuse definitely. But shouldn't they already have this experienced and be prepared to adjust the temperature? Or just set them to optimum temperature.

Remember that I mentioned they were hammering the red carpet during the start of the event, well, it wasn't a well done job. The carpet still wasn't rolled out properly. There were wrinkles and few of my guests almost tripped few times!

There were more feedback and dissatisfaction that happens during the event. Too many to list out and overall it just show how unprofessional they were. 3.5 star hotel according to Tripadvisor. I don't see this kind of service being a 3 star at all. I could only compare them to normal restaurants out there. Not a hotel rank service. Much disappointment !

Recap:
Part 1: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ
Part 3: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ

Part 1: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown, PJ

In short: Hell of an experience.

Long story ahead. Spare me some time if you're planning to read ahead and tell me what's your opinion on it if you've ever had experience with Chinese wedding banquet there.

I'll split it to 3 parts. Before, during and post-event.

PART 1:

We signed up with their banquet package at the wedding fair and our person in charge was Sandy.

Regarding the ballroom (review at first sight): It has the capacity to fit 50 tables (so they claimed) - We fit 32 and it seemed quite pack. There are 2 mirrored pillars at the center of the hall. There is upper deck to fit another 5 tables, but we didn't use it. A huge stage in front with 2 sides back room for backstage preparation. Kitchen is at the back of the ballroom (opposite the stage). Audio room is placed is situated at the upper deck. Podium is next to the stage. Not sure if it matters, but the communication with the audio manager would be a little tricky.

All was fine and I'm very very satisfied with Sandy's service. She keep us informed and update us on details and  was very punctual and patient. Our negotiation of wedding preparation and all that we need to know from the hotel side, (obviously it's our first time to have a wedding banquet) we were filled with information. Sandy find out and update us very promptly. We had a few meeting and during the meeting there was some awkward pause for us couple to think of questions to ask about, Sandy would keep smiling and told us to take our time. Plus, she's always by her email and whatsapp.

Unfortunately but good news for her, she's getting married too and her date falls a week or two after ours. So therefore, she no longer able to be in charge of our event since she will be on long leave to prepare for her own.We were passed on to a colleague of hers.

Having the impression that Sandy was such an excellent staff to deal with, we have the same expectation on her colleague. I'll not name this colleague but let's call her "staff A".

The first time I met with staff A was when I'm collecting my wedding card during my lunch time. Minor cookie point minus, staff A seems to be in rush when I was collecting my cards. Obviously, I'll need to double check the cards and quantity when I receive them. Staff A looks uninterested and keep asking if I still have anything needed from her. I told her, "Not at the moment, but I'll need to double check the cards". Yes, there are 100 over pieces of cards. I did not count/check all anyway, I just took some randomly to check the spelling and design. Well, at least a good gesture was that staff A asked if I had my lunch (not sure if she was going to invite me for lunch, though) but I told her I need to head back to work. Staff A asked again if I needed anything from her. Eventually I told her no and she left. Staff A left before the customer. Okay, maybe no biggy but as a customer sales representative, I would expect her to place customer first.

We had a few questions to the management or rather regarding to the event later on where we usually communicate via staff A's corporate email. It took longer time to get back to us and sometimes it doesn't even answer all of our questions. For example, we emailed in the morning at 10am, staff A only gets back to us at 5pm. By the time we responded to the email at 5:30pm, the next reply would be the next day. Which we assume it's because it's already office hours.

Then we have more inquiries to staff A/banquet related.

We could have communicated via Whatsapp too, but we since our questions were quite many, we thought it was easier to have it via email and also for reference later. There was no email reply one week later. When we message staff A via whatsapp, we were only then informed that staff A was on leave and there was no other staff to be in charge meantime. When staff A was back on the next day, staff A claimed that there was no email from us. Well, clearly for us that the email has went through. I checked my sent email. Not sure where the mistake has gone.

Side note, there's no discount rate for room just because you're doing your wedding there. The rates that were given by staff A is similar to what I can find exactly from their hotel webpage. Disappointed.

Few days before our wedding, we have a walkthrough to make sure everything is in place. So we've meet up with staff A again.We've clearly mentioned earlier in one of our discussion that we wanted cream colored chair cover due to probable of old people's superstition that white/black is bad color. 
 

screenshot from our email conversation

On the day of rehearsal, the ballroom was filled with white covered chair. Okay... We can't change from that since there are no more stock for cream covers and we weren't informed earlier? The placement of the tables are also far off from the hall plan that they have provided. 2 of the tables were too close to the kitchen entrance and it perhaps would block the servers' access . Shouldn't they have thought that through?

Plan that was sent to us:

What was the actual plan:

 

Honestly, how can this ballroom fit 50 tables? :x

While we were rehearsing, staff A left before us again. Of course, given the benefit of doubt, staff A let us have our time to do rehearsal as long as we want. (But what if we still have things we want to clarify? That day being a Friday and staff A is off duty on Saturday. Sunday is our reception day already) Regarding the parking, staff A told us that we could verify our tickets over the concierge and we only have to mention staff A's name for reference.

We left at about 8pm plus and head over to concierge as told to verify our tickets.

To our surprise, the staff over the counter rejected our validation. She told us they weren't informed about it and we couldn't do so. I mentioned staff A's name and that we could refer her. Concierge staff called their supervisor/manager then and explained the situation. To our disgust, the manager sounds upset and said "Just give them lah". The tone that he said it was as if we were desperate beggars asking for money and they were forced to validate so that we would stop pestering them. 

What? This is our right as customers and we were even told that we could do so.

Bad customer service of a front counter. I wonder how could they place them as the hotel's front person.

Part 2: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown PJ
Part 3: Review on Wedding Banquet @ Crystal Crown PJ

Wedding reception

If you're like us, having the ceremony in the morning and wedding reception during the dinner, then you can refer to our experience. I wouldn't say this as a guide since all the variables could be different.

But one thing for sure, I DO NOT RECOMMEND DOING WEDDING BANQUET AT CRYSTAL CROWN HOTEL, PJ.

I'll explain why I said that in another post. In short, it gave us a bad experience and on our special day? Really? bah..

Depending on where you gonna held your wedding reception, be there earlier to make sure everything is prepared. Your bridesmaids and groomsmen may also be there earlier to help check things out.

The bride may be preoccupied to redo her make up and dress up, so the groom is the only hope to run back and forth to do the preparation (boy, am I glad to get help from all of them). The bride will most likely got stuck in the room until the reception time actually starts, depends on what time your MUA will arrive, so do check the updates with her. Let her know in advance how many person will need to do make up for the reception so she can estimate her time.

While I was in the room doing my preparation, Jon was already at the ballroom ushering and greeting our guests. Checking things with the banquet manager. Make sure to assign receptionist and make sure they are also there early.

Once the bride is done, you'll go to the ballroom to greet the guests, take some photos, 

but do be wary of the time when the actual reception suppose to start. Get your emcee to be your timekeeper. 

Once the program actually starts, bride and groom will have to be ready at the entrance to do the significant march in later.

Nothing much I could comment on here as the dinner reception is pretty basic. But I'll just share with everyone my program flow because I too wanted to look for reference back then... Assuming the dinner should start at 8pm sharp and depending of the set of gowns that the bride will have to change, I had 3 sets. It's tiring. Just go with 2 at most...IMHO

7-7:45pm - Arrival of guests (our guests actually arrives at 6:30pm)
7:35pm - Bride change gown
7:55pm - Emcee plays proposal video of the newlywed
8:00pm - Emcee introduction + couple march in
8:15pm - First dish serve
8:20pm - Plays Tea ceremony session video
8:30pm - Bride change to next set of gown, meantime emcee plays Prewed photoshoot montage
8:45pm - Cake cutting and Toasting session and some speech
9:30pm - Couple goes around the table for toasting
11:00pm - End

It was tiring but indeed an experience to us.

The Big Day

Oh I'm really sorry for the looong delayed post of the BIG day itself!

If you guys/girls have been reading thus far and awaited for the "BIG day"'s post, I'm terribly sorry. I've been so caught up lately with work and our next phase of life. Will leave the story for next time. I hope you guys/girls did well in the big day! After all, that's the most awaited day!

It has been some time since both Jon and I's big day. I hope I can remember well so I don't miss out any important details and I'll probably get the photos up soon from our photographer of the day. Hopefully...

Till then, here's what you should expect to happen:

Bride's side:

1. You probably won't get enough sleep as you'll have to wake up 4 am in the morning to get your make up done. Which depends on the auspicious time to 'pick the bride'. Do make arrangement with your Make-Up Artist (MUA) so you'll know what time to get ready and what time your photographer should arrive to capture the "Behind the scenes" pictures (No, photographer won't take picture of you changing, just some 'bride-preparation-for-big-day" moment). 

Wear a button up shirt to ease the dress changing later without messing up the make up

  I don't get enough sleep as the auspicious time for flower bathing on the night before was 12am and my Make up artist arrive at 5 am. It'll take her about 2 hours plus to get your make up and dress up done. So do make an allowance for that. You don't wanna keep the groom waiting for too long. If it really can't be helped, get your bridesmaids to stall the time! 

2. Your bridesmaids should also get prepared for the gate crashing games while you're preparing. You'll be too busy to entertain them, so do appoint someone who know your house in and out (siblings, parents, or close friend) to assist them. 

 
3. MUA will help you to dress up, when you're done, just sit in the room and wait for your prince charming to arrive! Meanwhile, photographer will request to take photos of you again. Will also probably ask for your parents to be in the photo, so get them ready as well. For example, photos where parents will cover the veil's of the bride to symbolize the parents' blessing.

4. Bridesmaids will commence the gate crashing games when the groom arrive, this is where the infamous red packet negotiation happens. "Open gate" red packet. There's no really an amount of how much it should be, it depends on your husband. Some say this red packet is meant to be divided among the bridesmaids later. In between the games, bridesmaids can/will also blackmail the groom to get more red packet,  either with punishment or trick games.

 

5. Finally, the groom enters the bride's room (with much obstacles). Kiss the bride, pose for photos and you're ready for next session. 

Tea ceremony at the bride's house. I hope I don't get the positions wrongly about who you should first serve the tea because I didn't hire 'dai kam jie' for it. What we did was parents first, then grandparents (if there are any) of father's side first then mother's side, then married relatives from oldest to youngest, father's side then mother's side again. Then elder married siblings. I'm not sure if this is part of the tradition, next you'll have to give out red packets to younger unmarried siblings / relatives as a blessing from your auspicious day.

6. Next will be bride's leaving house auspicious time if there is one. Many things gonna happen here:

You're suppose to use a red umbrella to block the sun/sky, your father usually will be the one holding the umbrella for you (myth has it that your wedding is your big day, but as you leave the house, the sky God is biggest. So you gotta block it!).  

  
Have someone to throw 5 type of grains towards the umbrella as you leave to symbolize warding off evil spirits and blessing. 

Also use a red fan to block your chest area (To ward off any other auspicious/inauspicious moment that will clash with you). That red fan has to block your chest all the way until you reached the groom's house. Get another fan prepared, this is to throw off the car (don't look back when you throw) and have a younger sibling to pick it up to symbolize you have move on and the younger one will have your luck of the day.

The bride's car will have to make a few rounds about the house  (however you wanna do it) to symbolize the bride coming back home after 3 days (traditionally).
On the 3rd round, get down from the car, enter the bride's house once again as a symbol of return. Then you may leave to groom's house.

Groom's side

1. Early morning, groom just has to get himself prepared. Parents may be asked from the photographer to capture the behind the scenes moment such as putting on coat for the groom to symbolize parents blessing.

2. Leave the house within the auspicious time. As groom arrives at bride's house, bride will have a younger male sibling to open the door for the groom. Wait for him to open your door, he will give you two oranges (represent sweetness and luck) and in return, you'll give him a red packet as blessing.

3. The nightmare for groom begins as the bridesmaids gather for gate crashing game. The infamous one would be the "sweet", "sour", "bitter", "spicy" game which symbolizes the phases that the newly wed will go through together

4. As mentioned above, after meeting the bride, tea ceremony and it's time to bring the bride home and meet your side of the family!

5. As you reached, your side of the house will have a younger male sibling will open the door for you and same as the bride's side, you'll have to give out red packet to the boy. 

6. Family members with clashing zodiac/auspicious date (birthday, for example) are advised to hide themselves when the newly weds enter the house. They may then return to the hall after they have entered. 

7. Tea ceremony on groom's side will commence. After that, bride and groom will go into bridal chamber and a young/virgin boy will jump on the bridal bed to symbolize fertility and in hope that the couple will bear a son. Then the boy will also break a potty that is covered with red paper and takes the red packet inside.

That concludes the ceremony! And you're now customary considered as husband and wife!

Many things were made convenient/simple as the time moves on. Traditionally, the customs are more complicated and more steps and superstitious things to adhere to. Glad we're getting more open minded nowadays.

Auspicious: Day before the Big DAY

Now it's the time. The day before the big day. The longest day ever.

I'll shorten the story where you collect the gowns and props for the wedding day. What's gonna happen on that day is just gown collection, gown fitting, bridal car ribbon fitting and props collection. That's all.

That night is where most of the activities takes place. It is said that the bride and groom shall not meet the night before and so we didn't. We carry out our auspicious tasks at our own home.

Some family would have a small event to invite neighbors, friends or relative over for a small banquet. This is so called the "bachelor's night". I did mine, but my husband did not do on his side. For simplicity, he just have a simple dinner together with the relatives. It's entirely up to the family.

What I would suggest is just ignore the so called bachelor's night banquet. It's time consuming and your guests could be tired from traveling over and they have to be over at your place again the next day especially if your guests are from out of state.

What's inclusive are usually bathing with flower water (to ward of evil spirit), then change to new pyjamas, hair combing ceremony (by a pair of good couple - healthy, with children and grandchildren) and praying to ancestors. 

But we just did bathing with flower water since both of us does not have an altar at home.

All these have its own auspicious hour to follow. 


p/s: A really short post for the timeline for the long delayed process. heh.

Auspicious: Bridal bed set up

Even bed set up has an auspicious date and time and rules to follow.

This doesn't mean to do wood crafting on the bed. The representative of this act is actually to lay over a new set of bed sheet. 

If you're on a budget, you don't even need to buy a new bed per say. Just new bed sheet will do to signifies a new beginning with your significant other and to prepare the room for well, to put it bluntly, baby making!

Let's start with basic:
Bed sheet:
Though not necessary needed to have dragon and pheonix design on it, you can. More importantly is the colour of the bed sheet. Colours to avoid are the mourning colours. (black, blue, white, grey, dark or gloomy colours). Red is perfect as I suppose Chinese weddings are all associated with red which signifies prosperity and happiness.

Person to set up:
Good fortune woman. (Whose husband and children are all alive and has grandchildren) may install the bed.

Bed set up:
To prepare for the set up, the bed is moved slightly out of its designated position. During the auspicious hour to set up, the bed is then moved to its designated position to symbolize the set up completion. Then lay on the new bed sheet.

After that, the good fortune woman will lay on a plate of items which symbolizes good fortune on the bed. Items may include:
- Even number of tangerines,
- Dried longan
- Dried red dates
- Lotus seed
- Cypress Leaf
- Pak Hup
- Red Packet

After that, she will light up the a pair of bed side lamp which symbolizes adding  son to the family. The light should not be turned off until the wedding night.

Taboo:
Once the bed is set, except for children who are thought to bless the couple with fertility, in the usual case, a boy and is not against the couple's zodiac, no other adult should sit or rest on the bridal bed before the wedding.

The bride too, should not lie down on the bed. Otherwise it is believed that this will give her a bad health. 

If the groom must sleep on the bed before the wedding, he must be accompanied by a young boy because it is considered unlucky to leave the other side of the bed empty which may signifies to curse the other half death.

Anyone with chinese zodiac against the couples' should not enter the bridal room.