Discussion: Should parents pay for your wedding?

Big question here. As a modern and working adult, my answer is definitely NO.

Since I'm a Chinese, I'm only basing on Chinese wedding and my answer is still NO.

Some may bring up the question. "Most of the guests whom are coming to the reception are my parents friends, why should it be me who pay for the wedding? They are the one who wanted the reception so they could invite their friends, not me"

One word for you, SELFISH.

Parents may help out on your wedding, parents may voluntarily sponsor your wedding but you shouldn't have your parents to fund your wedding, you spoiled brat. Mind my words. I don't agree with such thoughts.

Parents have been raising us up thus far. Come on, now they even have to pay for your wedding? Wedding or marriage is something that signifies that you're adult and mature enough to have a family of your own. Your responsibility and commitment are in question here. Yeah, just keep getting baby-ed and you'll forever never be able to grow up.

I'm sure no parents would want to choke their children in their budget. Discuss with your parents. Unless you yourself also invite your friends and wanted a posh venue for your wedding, then I guess there's the price to pay.

Living in the city, venues for wedding reception doesn't come cheap. Especially with Chinese wedding where the price ends with 88. It would be like RM 888++, RM 988++, RM1,288++ per table kind of value and most of them requires a minimum amount of table. The least I've encountered so far was 20 tables to book a private "hall". For an RM 888++ per table * 20 (minimum), you'll end up with total of RM 17,760. THAT is only the minimal you'll have to pay for table price. Imagine if you wish to add alcohol drinks, that would easily total up to 20k for a reception. That bill obviously excludes your pre-wedding preparation costs and other fancy things you want to add on.

If you think your parents should also cover your pre-wedding preparation costs, just one piece of advice personally from me to you, don't reproduce. You'll end up in more debt. Who is going to clear that for you? Your parents? That's YOUR direct family already. How spoiled can you be.

If you're financially tight for wedding, cut cost.

Here's my opinion:

1. Research and find a decent priced venue for your wedding.

While the restaurants mostly priced at similar range, you can still find restaurant which has more to offer in their wedding package. For example package that includes complimentary alcohol or complimentary emcee, free flow of drinks, more flexibility on the tables you requested, etc. Things like this more or less could save some of your budget.


2. Ditch the pre-wedding photography

While it's nice to take a pre-wedding photography (especially for ladies), that is, you'll get to wear the gown of your choice and flaunt the model in you and be the star of the day; it's really an expensive cost. Hiring a photographer and renting wedding gown and all could easily cost you RM 3k. The package from bridal shop which usually includes photo albums, are just there soon to collect dust. How often would you look back at the book? It's been more than a year, I don't look back at it. You can save this budget and do a low budget photography instead if you're planning to display this later in the reception. Borrow a DSLR and tripod from a friend or even just a normal camera on your smartphone and take casual happy picture of both of you. I think that's even more hipster!

3. Have a small reception.

Just between families and close friends. Period.


4. Have a budget sheet that you can refer back how much you've spent.

This works psychologically. Set a maximum budget you can afford for the WHOLE wedding. Each time you purchased something for your wedding, deduct that from your budget. That includes the pre wedding stuff and customary items and the wedding reception. Roughly list out what you may need before your start purchasing and set an "expected" budget on it and if the actual cost exceeds the expected budget, something else gotta have to be sacrificed.


It may sound naggy that I may have repeated myself in one of the posts but my family is currently planning for a wedding and I got stressed out. Since I just had my wedding recently, my family members are asking me for advice and some of the thoughts are just ridiculous that I need somewhere to vent it out.

Wedding is indeed expensive, so be careful with it and I'm sure if there's a well plan, debts can be avoided to make the wedding a success.