Think about the dessert after the main

"I haven't done this! I haven't done that! This too! I have no time to think about things after wedding! There's so many to do still!"

Relax! Sure, there are a lot to do still. This is a good time to breathe in and out and think about the game plan thoroughly. Set a short, mid and long term goal to accomplish for your wedding preparation. List out what you need to accomplish each goal. It varies for each couple so for example, here's one:

Short term goal: The planning

• Secure all the contacts, booking and services. i.e. Actual day photographers, Make-Up Artist, Bride's Chaperon, venue, bridal studio for gown and pre-wedding photoshoot.

• If you're gonna have bridesmaids and groomsmen, make sure you've already booked their time! They need to be booked too. *wink* Imagine telling them last minute but they've already made plans! If they're gonna wear uniformly during your wedding day, spare some time looking for it with them so that you can make sure the style and colour suits your theme.

• Plan for honeymoon. "What? I have so many things to do now, I have no time...".. Shush... It's the best time in fact! You're in the midst of planning. Input this into your budget! It's also good to be able to think about your dream honeymoon once awhile during the other phases. It keeps you going!

Mid Term goal: The bumps

• Pre wedding photoshoot. This would be the next phase I look forward to. It's gonna be another major event in our wedding preparation. We'd start looking for possible locations for the photoshoot, theme colour and style that we want and props that we would need to prepare.

Long term goal: The EXECUTION

• Your wedding day. Enough said. This is it! The day that you'll be anticipate for. Hint: If you don't have a wedding planner, appoint your relative or friend or best man or maid of honour to be the floor manager. They'll need to know your plan inside out to coordinate with the hotel or restaurant manager for the wedding reception. So make sure to share with them all the info you got for that night. 

After all that hard work, thank the people and yourselves. Both of you deserve a good pat. Go for your honeymoon! Enjoy the world with just the two of you newlyweds!

-JO-

What's next?

Hey ya, it seems that we have gone pretty hiatus from our last posts/update. That's because we're now doing some preparation in the background.

The next event for us is the pre-wedding photoshoot, then the main event which is the Actual Day next (Tea ceremony and Dinner)

Technically we have less than a year to our big event next year. So our preparation now is to get contacts and details on Dai Kum Jie (Bride's Chaperone) and photo/videographer on our actual day.

I'm also gathering some information on what to props to prepare for our pre wedding photo shoot and also the locations.

I'm really glad I have my girls for this, I'm also in the midst of looking out for bridesmaids dress and groomsmen' accessories. 

Since I have yet to confirm any, I'll be glad if anyone can give me some contact details for :

- Dai Kum Jie
- Photo/Videographer

or any suggestions on the pre wedding photo shoot's (preferably within Klang Valley):
- Props
- Location

Much appreciated!

-Jo-

Update: Getting it legalize

We finally got it legalized earlier this month! It was an exciting and nervous moment at the same time! Someone cast confusion on me. So much anticipation for that one blessed day. So let us share with you our ROM(Registration of Marriage) experience.

This is a MUST step if you want to be lawfully recognized as husband and wife.

You can read all about the procedure before the ROM here 

That day, we arrived earlier than the time slot given - they did not mention how early before the time slot we have to be there - it's better to be early than late. So we waited until they began calling out the numbers according to the time slot given.

Do be attentive to the numbers that they called out to. They will call for twice, then they will proceed to the next couple. So you will lose your time there. Anyway, no worries, you'll still be able to proceed, after the couple is done that is.

There's only 2 main steps.

1. After your number being called, you will proceed to the counter, where you will need to provide them the couple's MyKad and both witnesses' MyKad. Then you'll sign some documents which verify that the stated documents are correct. Please make sure that the names and IC numbers are all accurate.

2. You will then proceed to the designated room, where there will be an officer who will solemnize the event.
I came to know that we can actually opt for either Mandarin or English. The officer then proceeds with the script of the language we chose. 
Here's what to expect: (I forgot which event comes first)

• There will be a point where the officer will ask if you will take your other half as your rightful partner, you will need to reply "I do"
• There will be some oath taking
• Signing, at least 3-4 documents.
• Ring exchange

Then you're done! You're free to take pictures in the room but be considerate of the next couples who might need to use the room.

Don't worry about taking photos in the room, there are plenty of nice scenery out there around the temple to take photos. 

Just wander around, you have all the time to yourselves and if you want to, you can also pray in the temple as newlywed for some blessings.

-JO

Preparation for ROM

Well, technically this part is not important. It's really optional. Really.

You can always go for ROM in any formal clothes that you feel comfortable with. The rules states that on the day of registration for both the couples and witnesses:

- Dress neatly
- No sandals or slippers
- No jeans or shorts
- No T-shirt

The guy's dress up is pretty simple (as usual). Just a formal shirt, a long pants and a shoe. Of course, if you want to look good, dress formal.

For the lady, as I've seen many, they wore a white dress - no particular colour code or dress code applies besides the above "No" rules. You don't need to wear a bride's gown. I feel that's a bit exaggerated and out of place. No harm anyway, but if you do wear that, may I suggest that you have the matching make up and accessories? :)

As for me, I wore a white dress.

 

and to match with it, I brought along my handmade flower bouquet, made of ribbons!

  

I had manicure sessions the day before the ROM and I finally got to do the design that I love so much for this occasion!

 

And a hairdo. I am not good at doing this by myself. Look at my mess.

Regardless, these are just some ideas of what you can do for preparation. Like I've said earlier, it's optional. You can do more than that or neither at all.

The final preparation,

BE MENTALLY PREPARED!

You're going to be someone's wife/husband! Just exaggerating. Don't worry, just enjoy the day!

Update: Getting Auspicious Date (Part 2)

Remember our previous post about Getting the Auspicious Date ? If you don't or haven't read it already, go ahead click on the link to read it.

Here's the update:

The list of dates that we got are not all on weekends (which are preferable so that it is convenient for the guests to make it to the event). Most of the good dates we have fall on weekdays if not near to major public holidays like Christmas or New Year's eve (expected most guest-to-be to be on holiday) T___T. After going through next year's calendar, we finally decided on that one day. 


Once you've decided on that one date, book your wedding venue! This is to ensure that the date you've chosen is also available for the wedding venue and that YOU WILL NOT CHANGE the date. You're given a year from the date you seek for Mr. Loh's service to contact them again to CONFIRM your wedding date. Then you will be given a box set for bride and groom further instructions. 

Up until here, let me summarize them in step-by-step form:

1. Get auspicious date.

2. Once you got the list of dates from them, you will need to reply them within a year.

3. Book venue. To make sure that the date you've chosen is available.

4. Call them a week before you wish to collect your box set. So they'll prepare them ahead.

P/S: Items in the box set are not perishable, so no worries, you don't have to collect them so early. 

It's just whether you'll remember the instructions or not. 

But you can write it down when they explain it.

5. Call them again on the day before you collect the goods to make sure that it is ready.

6. Pay attention to their instructions when you collect them. (You can always call them up again for inquiry though)


Here's the items in the box set.

To stick on groomsmen car

To stick on back of bridal car

Red packets, instructions and auspicious time for occasions

Stick on doors and dressing table.

Cute wooden box that contains all the above items.

These items have the bride and groom's name written on it therefore it would be forfeited if it is not collected within a year.

If you're wondering like me what to prepare or buy for the ceremony, no worries ! They will also guide you on it. At least we can now see some light in our directions. 


The next main agenda for us will be ROM. Stay tuned for our experience !

JO

A little note for Bride To Be (BTB)

Hey there BTBs! "How's the wedding preparation going on?" I'm sure this is one of the most common questions you'll get. It's the most exciting question and yet disappointing at the same time. Depends on how well your preparations are already.

If you have no issue with budget, these guidelines might not applied to you. But if you still want to have a read, go ahead.

If you haven't already, get started. Here's some guides to follow:


Plan Ahead.
It's never too early to plan ahead. At least you'll get a rough idea of how you want your wedding to be. Have a list on what you should prepare.

 

Get Advices.
You may not be experienced in wedding. So get it from someone who has did it before. Friends, family or relatives or even from the internet. There may be too many ideas from different person and different way of how they conduct their wedding but at least you will get some idea.

Budget.
Set a budget that will not burden your capability. Most girls wanted a perfect luxurious wedding but think about your budget. Don't be tricked with the "wedding is once in a lifetime" quote. Of course it is supposed to be once in a lifetime but what comes after the wedding is your reality. You wouldn't want to end up in debt that take you years and hard work to repay them. I would say that's not worth for a once in a lifetime.  


Plan Again.
After getting to this point, your budget might not be comfortable anymore. This is when you should come up with plan B. Consider rescaling your banquet size, venue, miscellaneous expenses and other possible budgets that you can trim. Consider coming up with other possible plans for wedding. If dinner is too expensive, what about lunch? Do you really need a wedding planner? Do you need the customized wedding invitation cards? Can you do without it? For example. Ask yourself questions about the budget.

While this might not be the best guides ever, I sure do hope it will help to shine some light. :)

I'm utmost grateful when I got help from my friends and family for my wedding preparations.  Can you imagine handling one without them? I can't. I appreciate all of their ideas and help and I feel so blessed to have them. Well, if I think of anything that can help with you BTBs, I'll write it down. Till then. Happy planning !

JO

Getting it legalize

What's more important in marriage than getting the law involved? That's right. This is the important step in marriage if you haven't done so already to make sure that you are lawfully wedded husband and wife. 

Mine shall be done in the temple (Thean Hou) but it can also be done at the National Registration Department (JPN). They provide a private room/hall for the marriage solemnization. I'm not sure about the details for this procedure but you can inquire about it at JPN. Their staffs are pretty helpful. Anyway, here's to shine some light if you wish to do it at the temple like us. 

It's pretty simple. Here's the guideline from the temple that helped us. 

1. Enquiry and booking.
• We kind of skipped this step. We only inquire but no booking yet. Anyway, to book (couple need to present in person), both will need to prepare:
• Photocopy of MyKad ( front and back on same page)
• Photocopy of Birth Certificate 
• Photocopy of 2 witnesses' MyKad (witness does not need to present during submission) 
• Passport sized photo of applicants 

• I'm not sure if the item above needs to be prepared during this step or not. No harm in bringing anyway.

1. Statuary Declaration
• NOTE: Don't forget to bring your(both of you) MyKad and a passport sized photo
• We were told that we could get all the things done at the Ministry of Home Affairs Complex (Kompleks Kementerian Dalam Negeri) at Jalan Duta. I guess there should be JPN that also provide Commissioner of Oath at the same building, but we were too lazy to find out where else.
• We went straight ahead to the Perkahwinan dan Penceraian department to get the JPN.KC02 form. The staff were friendly and told us what's the next procedure after filling up the form. 
• After filling up the form given, OH! and don't forget the to stick on the passport sized photo to the form! We then went to declare it at the Commissioner of Oath. They have it at the same building, but so happen it was closed on that day due to holiday weekend. So we went to the Commissioner of Oath in the High Court which is nearby LHDN building.
• Paid RM 4 for the fee and we're done with the Statuary Declaration. Next, back to JPN.
2. JPN Verification
• We passed the completed form back to the JPN officer and after some verification, and payment of RM 20 for the Marriage Register, we were good to go. 
3. Form Submission
• We went to Thean Hou temple that weekend to submit our forms and photocopied documents of  MyKad, birth cert and witness' MyKad and book (since we skipped the booking step, remember?) for our desired ROM date and paid a fee of RM 80.
• They'll choose a time slot for us and now, we wait for the day to come! *I'm so excited*
4. ROM!

It'll be some time till our ROM date. Till then... Happy prepping up !

-edit-
Here's the update of the ROM

JO

Basic checklist for venue

Writing this checklist just in case my brother asks for it. This is basically for Chinese wedding dinner since I'll be doing dinner

If you're looking for hotel (precedence does not weigh the importance here):

• Location

• Price per table

• What kind of decorations do they provide - Backdrop, flower deco, reception counter 

• Parking rate for guests

• Corkage fee

• Complimentary drinks

• Complimentary tidbits

• Special rate/complimentary accomodation

• What type of drink do they provide for champagne fountain

• Menu

• No. of complimentary invitation cards

• Min/max no. of guests the hall can fit

• LCD/PA system

I guess that's mainly it. Get the one within your liking and budget of course. 

Tips: It's really not a good idea to spend a fortune in wedding. I know it's just once in a lifetime thing. But you and your spouse is the real lifetime. Think about your future expenditure and spend wisely within your budget. 

JO

Pre-Wed photography and Venue

There are many ways to get information or to look for pre-wedding photography and venues. 

1. Typically, going bridal shop by bridal shop to get the best quotations or 

2. You can do research online to based on others' comments and reviews or 

3. If you're lazy like me, you can lookout for bridal fairs in your area so you'll get everyone in one place and just get the best offer you can get! (Besides, there could be special promotions prior to the event!)

There was a bridal fair in my area just few days ago. So being excited for the whole week before the event, I was happy to be there. There wasn't such a big crowd there, maybe because there were another bridal fair just a month ago. So if you have missed out on this, you can always wait for the next one soon. Just got to keep lookout for it. (I heard the next one is on July or August) 

I got my wedding venue and pre wedding photography from this fair! Here's some tips:

- Take your time through the fair. Get all the brochures and information you need. 

- Ask! Ask all the doubts you have.

- Weigh out between locations and shops. Price, special deals and maybe extra benefits they can offer. 

One thing we learned through this fair. We were "pulled" to many of bridal shop booths. Everyone told us to give them a chance to preach for 2 minutes. IT WAS A LIE! Once you sat down, they began to  show you their photo album after photo album. They wouldn't let you go even if you politely told them you will consider it and maybe return after you have gather enough information to compare. One of them aggressively selling her package to us and told us that if we walk out from the booth, we might not get this offer from her again. It feels like a threat. No, we did not sign up regardless from that bridal shop. I don't like their service. It was "My dream wedding". I've heard enough from googling their reviews and finally experiencing it. I was not surprised.

We then signed up with another bridal shop. Even though there bound to be hidden costs somewhere later but I like them for their honesty and price they offer for the amount of service given. I'm not naming the shop yet until I experience the photoshoot. If they're good, I'll recommend. Oh ya, make sure you brought enough money/credit card because they might have good deal if you sign up there and then for the bridal shop deal.

We gather information that night and went to scout the venue before returning to the fair the next day to seal the deal for our wedding location. It does help really to check out the venue with your own presence to see if you agree with the location or not before the final decision making.

So we have made some progress this week and next up, informing relatives and friends maybe. I'll probably post up some checklist to look for to decide on location. 

JO

Getting the number of tables

I've heard countless times from other brides or relatives ranting about this matter and now it finally happen to me. I thought it was easy. "Why? You should know the number of your guests roughly isn't it?" Well, technically yes but you need to take into account that the number of person you invite might or might not be the total number of seats taken on the wedding dinner itself! I'm already having headache who to invite.

It's good to have a list of names prepared in advance even though you already roughly know who or the number of guests you want to invite. This helps to identify whom you want to send your wedding invitation card to and to keep track of the number of guests in your list (in case you double counted). 

Work with your other half to get the total number of tables (if you're doing the shared wedding dinner) to include his/her side of guests. You need to estimate a rough number of tables before engaging your wedding dinner venue.

Here's some suggestions on the list: (technically my baseline)

• Family
• Relatives
• Friends - School, College, University
• Work - Colleagues, Ex-close-colleagues
• Neighbors (or your-parents-friends-that-you-may-or-may-not-know-of)

After that, of course, is to hunt for wedding venue. Have a list of venues prepared and send in your inquiries and to get their proposal. It's also good to send in the inquiries as early as possible (at least a year ahead) just so that you can get an early confirmation that your dinner venue is settled. Also, some of these venue might offer you some extras and packages that could save you time and effort looking for it elsewhere. Have a checklist to see what they could offer and compare with other venue before making the choice.

JO

Getting the auspicious date.

We venture into the first item in our list, which is to get auspicious date from sifu (astrology master). In the Chinese culture, it is important to get the auspicious day to ensure that everything may go well on that important day.

We first got to know about this astrology master from Jon's colleague and little did we know, this master is quite famous in the internet. Google his name, Loh Tat Pit or Loh Tit Pat and you will find that he is everywhere related to couple to get their good dates especially for wedding!

It wasn't that difficult to look for his shop but for both of us who are Chinese illiterate, we had missed the entrance to his shop which is at the first floor of Bangunan Ka Yin Fui Kong at Petaling Street.

 

I was nervous because I have not engaged any of the kind of fortune telling or palm reading master. Deep down when I was already at the entrance I actually hesitated. I do not know who is behind the door. My imagination would be that there would be incense burning as offering to the God, people chanting some prayers and that it would look traditional inside.

Little did I know, they were quite modern. A long table with a few followers of Master Loh and a waiting area. We entered looking confused and one of the lady greeted us and asked if she could help us. We told her our intention and got seated. We were asked to provide these few simple information:

1. Our birth date
2. Our time of the birth day
3. Parents Chinese zodiac
4. Range of date for the wedding. First half or second half of which year.
5. Where would the groom leave from to fetch the bride for the ceremony

We did not provide the last information as we were still unsure. That was not a problem as she told us it only matters for them to calculate the auspicious timing to fetch the bride and we could provide them when we have confirmed. 

The dates available as calculated from our birth date and time were then sent to us later that evening. The fee was RM 250 just to get the dates and once we had confirmed the date, we would need to reply them and also we would get some free gift. As she had pointed to us, I presume that it was some of the wedding gift exchange ("Guo Da Li") item.

To see the Master Loh himself, that would cost additional RM 50 which is RM 300 where we could ask him further about our fortune and even bring along our parents to ask about it. We figured we have no questions for the master and decided on the RM 250 package only.

After we got our list of dates that evening, it's then time to scratch our head again to calculate the number of tables required to seat our families and friends. That's all for the progress now.  

Here's the address for the master's location.


LOH TAT PIT / LOH TIT PAT
No. 63D, 1st Floor,
Jalan Sultan,
5000 Kuala Lumpur.
Tel: 03-2070 0917 / 017-2825 666
IMHO, LRT would be the better choice to get there since it's not too far distance from the station. You could avoid the traffic jam at this human congested area and also the parking rates in the town is expensive. 

1. The station to stop is Pasar Seni. 
2. Once you got down from the station, walk across the road (at this point of time of this post) towards the 7-eleven below Pusat Tuisyen Kasturi. 
3. Turn right at the corner of the building and you should see the start of the Petaling Street. 
4. Walk all the way straight through the street and cross the road when you hit the end of the Petaling Street.
5. Turn right and look for 5 Elements Hotel. 
6. Walk slightly further and you will see the signage on top at the first floor of Bangunan Ka Yin Fui Kong
7. Go up to first floor and you will see Loh Tit Pat on your right. Tadaaa!

Last but not least, if you happen to found this blog while searching for your wedding preparations, I would like to say, CONGRATULATIONS on your engagement!

P/S: Once you got the dates, it is advisable to pick tentative and alternate dates! Just so it helps with wedding venue booking.

Read the update here

 JO

The Game Plan

Plenty of stuff to do for a wedding and its best to start early so you get all the bookings on the dates you want!

For everyone's convenience (including my own), this master list will get updated periodically when we find missing stuff!

• Get auspicious dates from Sifu
• Set wedding budget
• Dinner number of tables (Guest list)
• Dinner Venue Hunting
• Dinner Venue Reservation
• Meeting of the in-laws
• Wedding Album Photographer
• Wedding Day Event Photographer
• ROM Activities 
• Recruiting HengDai / JiMuis
• Gift exchange
• ???

-edited by JO on 10/5/2015

Introduction

Hello there! Not sure how many will read this blog since there's plenty of wedding journal / diaries out there and they might be more informative than ours. Yes, ours. Mr. Lee will be posting too (I hope), since he's the one who sort of encouraged me to write ours.

OOPS! Pardon me. I forgot to introduce myself. Hi, I'm Joanne. Current status; Jonathan's fiancée. I have been reading what others have shared about their wedding experiences online and their tips, the dos and don'ts. So here I am - probably not many interesting information but I just want to share our wedding diary. 

Some background here; Jonathan and I had been dating for more or less 3 years now and along the way there are times where we talked about getting married one day and even to have a family of our own. We're not shy to discuss about it and even planned as far as our children's name! That is of course if everything goes well and we're blessed with children. I'm just trying to be pessimistically optimistic - make any sense? I don't care!

Geez, I'm smiling to myself like an idiot now thinking how we got started as a couple and now we're already on the next stage. I'm sure every couple has their own sweet moment when you reminisce it, you'll smile like an idiot no matter what you're doing at that point of time. Of course, there will be some bad ones but the good ones will always make it up for the bad ones. Long story short, we first known each other as colleagues - I was an intern back then and some how along the line, we got together because we are able to click with each other so well. We're like kids when we get together and I guess because of that, we're showing more PDA (Public Display Affection) even when we're out with friends - I hope they don't mind us.

I hope I don't get lazy to update this blog on what coming up in our wedding plans. I admit it! I have this tendency to get bored and lazy to continue what I feel motivated to do right now. Isn't everyone the same too? No? Just me? Fine. Just me then. Boo hoo. This blog is still "under renovation". I'll post up pictures randomly soon so that this blog don't look too dull. I might also update the layout here bit and there. One.Fine.Day. Hopefully, I'll get motivated to write our journey and also share some tips along the way until we're finally officially Mr. and Mrs. Lee. Dammit. I sound lazy already! And this is just the first post! Ahh... Jo..

Till then, see you in our next post!

JO.