If you guys/girls have been reading thus far and awaited for the "BIG day"'s post, I'm terribly sorry. I've been so caught up lately with work and our next phase of life. Will leave the story for next time. I hope you guys/girls did well in the big day! After all, that's the most awaited day!
It has been some time since both Jon and I's big day. I hope I can remember well so I don't miss out any important details and I'll probably get the photos up soon from our photographer of the day.
Till then, here's what you should expect to happen:
Bride's side:
1. You probably won't get enough sleep as you'll have to wake up 4 am in the morning to get your make up done. Which depends on the auspicious time to 'pick the bride'. Do make arrangement with your Make-Up Artist (MUA) so you'll know what time to get ready and what time your photographer should arrive to capture the "Behind the scenes" pictures (No, photographer won't take picture of you changing, just some 'bride-preparation-for-big-day" moment). |
| Wear a button up shirt to ease the dress changing later without messing up the make up |
2. Your bridesmaids should also get prepared for the gate crashing games while you're preparing. You'll be too busy to entertain them, so do appoint someone who know your house in and out (siblings, parents, or close friend) to assist them.
3. MUA will help you to dress up, when you're done, just sit in the room and wait for your prince charming to arrive! Meanwhile, photographer will request to take photos of you again. Will also probably ask for your parents to be in the photo, so get them ready as well. For example, photos where parents will cover the veil's of the bride to symbolize the parents' blessing.
4. Bridesmaids will commence the gate crashing games when the groom arrive, this is where the infamous red packet negotiation happens. "Open gate" red packet. There's no really an amount of how much it should be, it depends on your husband. Some say this red packet is meant to be divided among the bridesmaids later. In between the games, bridesmaids can/will also blackmail the groom to get more red packet, either with punishment or trick games.
5. Finally, the groom enters the bride's room (with much obstacles). Kiss the bride, pose for photos and you're ready for next session.
Tea ceremony at the bride's house. I hope I don't get the positions wrongly about who you should first serve the tea because I didn't hire 'dai kam jie' for it. What we did was parents first, then grandparents (if there are any) of father's side first then mother's side, then married relatives from oldest to youngest, father's side then mother's side again. Then elder married siblings. I'm not sure if this is part of the tradition, next you'll have to give out red packets to younger unmarried siblings / relatives as a blessing from your auspicious day.
6. Next will be bride's leaving house auspicious time if there is one. Many things gonna happen here:
You're suppose to use a red umbrella to block the sun/sky, your father usually will be the one holding the umbrella for you (myth has it that your wedding is your big day, but as you leave the house, the sky God is biggest. So you gotta block it!).
Have someone to throw 5 type of grains towards the umbrella as you leave to symbolize warding off evil spirits and blessing.
Also use a red fan to block your chest area (To ward off any other auspicious/inauspicious moment that will clash with you). That red fan has to block your chest all the way until you reached the groom's house. Get another fan prepared, this is to throw off the car (don't look back when you throw) and have a younger sibling to pick it up to symbolize you have move on and the younger one will have your luck of the day.
The bride's car will have to make a few rounds about the house (however you wanna do it) to symbolize the bride coming back home after 3 days (traditionally).
On the 3rd round, get down from the car, enter the bride's house once again as a symbol of return. Then you may leave to groom's house.
Groom's side
1. Early morning, groom just has to get himself prepared. Parents may be asked from the photographer to capture the behind the scenes moment such as putting on coat for the groom to symbolize parents blessing.
2. Leave the house within the auspicious time. As groom arrives at bride's house, bride will have a younger male sibling to open the door for the groom. Wait for him to open your door, he will give you two oranges (represent sweetness and luck) and in return, you'll give him a red packet as blessing.
3. The nightmare for groom begins as the bridesmaids gather for gate crashing game. The infamous one would be the "sweet", "sour", "bitter", "spicy" game which symbolizes the phases that the newly wed will go through together
4. As mentioned above, after meeting the bride, tea ceremony and it's time to bring the bride home and meet your side of the family!
5. As you reached, your side of the house will have a younger male sibling will open the door for you and same as the bride's side, you'll have to give out red packet to the boy.
6. Family members with clashing zodiac/auspicious date (birthday, for example) are advised to hide themselves when the newly weds enter the house. They may then return to the hall after they have entered.
7. Tea ceremony on groom's side will commence. After that, bride and groom will go into bridal chamber and a young/virgin boy will jump on the bridal bed to symbolize fertility and in hope that the couple will bear a son. Then the boy will also break a potty that is covered with red paper and takes the red packet inside.
That concludes the ceremony! And you're now customary considered as husband and wife!
Many things were made convenient/simple as the time moves on. Traditionally, the customs are more complicated and more steps and superstitious things to adhere to. Glad we're getting more open minded nowadays.
